Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
