So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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