So drunk its hurt
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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