he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
