How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
