I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
