just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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