Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
