I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
