I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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