I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
