i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
