well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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