Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
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I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I need a beard to bite.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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