my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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