You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
