I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
