We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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