And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
