So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So apparently I’m into choking now
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