Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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