If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
