college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
