I heard we made out
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize