I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
