you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
