just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
