so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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