so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
