you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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