So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I had to cum in my sink.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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