it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
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It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.