If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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