I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
