How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
