3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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