if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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