you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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