she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
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So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
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Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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