then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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