Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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