Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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