You work out of a Hotel?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
