apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
