mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
This is not my ceiling
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize