my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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