Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
