Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
