Where did you get a picture of my penis
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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