there's paper in my vomit.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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