My first STD was from a foam party
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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