school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
