So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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