I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
