its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
