Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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