"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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