Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
