Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
