I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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