just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
