In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
