guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
