butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
