Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
